Aviator Mermaids

I get up early. I stay up late.

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Enjoy my Princess Wedding, Kate.

I’ll never forget the first time Prince William and I made eye contact. I was walking up the staircase of our neighbors’ house, not unlike Rose in Titanic, when I turned to the right and immediately saw him.

I was around 13, so this love-at-first-sight occurred sometime between crushing on a boy in my Language Arts class who I beat in chess and the obligatory post-Titanic crush on Leonardo DiCaprio.

My friends who lived next-door (Cara, my age, and Lori-Beth, two years older) were from South Africa and knew more about Prince William than I, or any of my American friends, did. The poster of Prince William hung ornately in Lori-Beth’s room, but Cara and I loved to visit him. I decided, as William’s eyes followed my every movement, that I would marry him one day.

So, you’ll have to excuse me if I’m just a wee bit bitter about the royal wedding. If it couldn’t be me, then I suppose Kate Middleton is my second choice for the following reasons:

1. I don’t know her. I would be eternally bitter if William married someone I knew, or worse, didn’t like.

2. She’s a brunette. In some small way, this feels like a victory.

3. As my co-workers pointed out at lunch today, Kate Middleton isn’t THAT pretty. I mean, she kinda looks like a Midwesterner with Type-A tendencies who jogs a lot. I know, I know, sour grapes, sour grapes.

However, I’ve decided to have a Royal Wedding Watch Party. See, I can be the bigger person. Friends, you’re welcome to join me, but I will totally eat fish and chips by myself while talking like Georgia Nicolson. Oh yes, I will.

P.S. Maybe I won’t be the next Princess Diana, but I still have a shot at being the next Camilla Bowles.

Filed under British Camilla Bowles I coulda been a princess Kate Middleton Prince William Princess Diana Royal Wedding Titanic first love fish and chips oh and probably red velvet cupcakes to keep things super classy preteen sour grapes there's always Prince Harry The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson

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